Saturday, March 10, 2007

Polar Bears Versus Humans


The liberal mindset is astounding. In a conversation about global warming, a certain confused individual actually advocates murder as a solution to global warming. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: There's going to be plenty more for us to clean up after that ice storm we just had.

Lib: What can you say? Global warming is really taking its' toll.

Me: Say What? We just had the most ferocious winter weather I've ever seen....

Lib: Yeah, global warming. Extreme climate change.

Me: It doesn't exist, my friend.

Lib: What do you mean?

Me: Haven't you ever heard of orbital forcing? Milankovitch cycles? You see, the Earth's orbit around the sun isn't always a perfect circle. Sometimes...

Lib: Wait. Where are you getting your information from?

Me: The encyclopedia, um, Wikipedia on-line, Realclimate.com, Time-Life books on science...

Lib: Well, you can't trust stuff you get off of the Internet.

Me: Look, I know what you're saying. The Internet can be a bathroom wall, as far as information goes, but...

Lib: So you can't trust it.

Me: Who do you trust, journalists? Al Gore? These people just make stuff up! Dan Rather got fired for using bogus sources. But since you trust journalists, maybe you'll trust Newsweek. I read an article from the summer of 1975 that warned us all about global cooling. Scientists were sure that the glaciers were advancing, the growing seasons were getting shorter, that by 1985 there would be mass starvation. It never happened. So, what... you believe that scientists fixed the problem of global cooling, somehow found a way to warm the Earth, and now we're all worried about it being too hot? Hey, these guys are heroes! What are you complaining about?

Lib: Well....

Me: ...it's the polar bears, isn't it?

Lib: Well, yeah, I'm concerned about that.

Me: Psst! Polar bears can swim.

Lib: I know that.

Me: They can, it's true! In fact, they can swim up to 100 miles. They love to swim, they're designed that way.

Lib: Well, they can't swim forever, They're losing their homes...

Me: Look, I saw that photo, too, and I'm telling you, you don't have too worry. The polar bears are not going to be stranded. They're not losing their home. Listen, the same fools who are telling you that the north pole is melting are omitting the fact that the antarctic is actually cooling. I'm not really worried that a few scientists got together and discovered that the planet is supposedly warmer by one degree over the last 100 years or so. The Earth has been here for billions of years, the climate changes as God intends. There's proof that the Great Sahara Desert was once a fruited plain, did you know that?

Lib: We're destroying the planet with all of our oil, burning rubber tires, CF Cs...

Me: Look, we didn't invent oil. We didn't invent rubber. We didn't make the Earth and we couldn't destroy it, even with every nuclear weapon we've built. The planet was here long before us, and it will be here when we die and the cockroaches grow big brains and start running the show. You saying that we have to save the planet is total crap, the planet doesn't need our protection because we can't destroy it, only ourselves. You're talking about saving the humans, not the polar bears. You just want to talk about saving the planet to alieve the guilt you feel over being a human, because you think humans are destroying the poor cute little animals and their homes.

Lib: All I know is, we're ruining the environment, and a lot of people need to die.

Me: Okay, wait. You're concerned about the environment, about the polar bears, and your solution is...murder? People bad, animals good? Then what, you kill a bunch of people, and then I suppose you'll be expecting a Christmas card from the polar bears? Who needs to die, me, for driving my car? Your girlfriend, for using aerosol hairspray? Are you going to go north and sacrifice yourself to the polar bears?

Lib: Let's change the subject.

Do you see what I have to deal with? This guy has been bombarded with global warming hysteria to the extent that he's been brainwashed. His sense of self-loathing because he's a human and humans are supposedly destroying the world has led him to the belief that humans must die. Not him, of course. He's enlightened. Sure, he uses fossil fuels, but he feels really bad about it, so he can live. It's other car drivers and coal users. They need to die. It doesn't end there. You should have heard his comments on America! White guys are the most evil thing in the world, except for him, of course, because he feels really bad about how "we" conquered the Indians, how "we" owned slaves, how "we" treated the Chinese, America became great by stealing things from others, and on and on and on.
Look, you dolts, what do you want us to do, give it all back, and have everyone go home? What do you want, do you think I should apologize for things I never did had had no control over, then split myself into atoms and have each atom go to each country every ancestor I ever had came from? We're here, and yes, there have some problems, but America is great, humans are great! Look at all the good we do, not just the bad we once did or are supposedly doing now! STOP HATING YOURSELVES AND EVERYONE ELSE AND WE MIGHT JUST MAKE SOME PROGRESS!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're disregard for other living things is disgusting. Your arrogance blocks you from seeing that threats to other species are in fact threats to us. All life is interconnected. The trend of ever increasing extinction includes You.

Unknown said...

This is jsut what I was talking about. Animals good, people bad. You see, you talk about my "arrogance," my "disregard for other living things." I love all of God's creatures. In fact, I'm a conservationist. I'm against urban sprawl because of the strain it puts on our resources. My point is that global warming is BUNK. It is your own arrogance to think that anything short of a shotgun is a threat to the polar bears, and guess what? You'll need one, because when it comes to bears, we're not at the top of the food chain, we're part of it. As for extinction, God takes us all, even me, in his time, not "mother Earth's." What are you, a wiccan, or just some poor misguided dope? Give up your liberal indoctrination guilt complex, and we might just be able to come up with a compromise or two.