Friday, June 28, 2013

You Will Never Get My Vote

"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. 16So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth."  Rev. 3:15-16

You will never get my vote. You "old bulls" need to hear this, because it's the last time it will be said.  You are a Republican...or Maybe you're a Democrat.  It doesn't matter.  You will never get my vote.  It won't matter what you spend on comercials and print ads.  It won't matter who you've paid to endorse you.  In 2016, I'm voting for Malcolm X.  I'm voting for Archie Bunker.  I'm voting for somebody who stands for something. You party hacks send me letters in the mail that claim you need money so you can send more letters in the mail.  On each little questionnaire, you ask my opinion, and then you completely ignore it.  You congressmen show up on the Sunday morning shows and tell me how badly we need more enforcement of existing immigration laws and border security. Monday evening, you tell me we can't secure the border "it's too big," and  we need to "make a deal" on immigration reform.  You got elected on a platform of repealing or replacing the Affordable Care Act, but you won't even do the one thing that is in your power to do...defund it.  You, Mr. President, said that you believe marriage is between a man and a woman, so you could gobble up the votes, and then licked your finger, stuck it up in the air, and followed the prevailing winds.  Has your opinion changed, or have the latest opinion poll results changed?  You said you were going to close Guantanamo Bay...that was 5 years ago.  You are liars.  You are thieves.  You have made promises you cannot hope to keep, which matters little, because you never intended to.  You candidates, you talk about uniting the country, you scowl at the divisiveness of politics, and then you screw each other to the wall and try to make yourselves seem just a little bit more appealing than the other guy.  You talk of bipartisanship, which means everyone gets screwed but you.  You threw your hand-puppets in the air and railed against the other side while claiming your puppets don't speak for you. You say you want to decrease the deficit, then you tell me the deficit doesn't really matter and make backroom deals with made-up numbers.  You've said you support the Tea Party, then call them "hobbits." You are politicians, and your only interest is self-preservation, but you know what?  There will come a day when "the shiniest of two turds" isn't good enough anymore, and you had better be ready.  Jim Sullivan found it out, and so will you.  Without a spine, an elephant or a donkey is nothing but a jellyfish.   I haven't been to the beach in over ten years, you know why?  It's because I hate jellyfish.  Get hot, get cold, or get out of politics.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Add to Technorati FavoritesBreaking News: Britain Has Spies!

Thank goodness for the intrepid reporters at places like the Guardian and Yahoo News.  Without the likes of them, we might never have learned that The United Kingdom has whole agencies full of spies and secret agents whose missions are secret!  Apparently, these spies are even monitoring communications!  SECRETLY!  I did a little research of my own, and I discovered that this kind of thing has been going on since before the days of Rome.  Even the Aztecs had a spy network.  It's hard to believe, I mean, really, who knew?  Oh, that's right- everybody.  Yes, the NSA, the CIA, the GHCQ, and the SVR are all monitoring all kinds of communications, always have, always will.  Intercepted e-mails?  Yup.  Tapped phone calls?  Uh-huh.  Captured couriers?  Check.  Shot down carrier pigeons? You betcha.  In fact, it looks like the only people who didn't know this has been going on for thousands of years are...journalists.  It's a huge shocker, I guess, that a spy agency led by Great Britain, formerly one of the world's largest empires, is tapping into a global network of fiber-optic cables to mine data from (gasp!) the internet.  I mean, wow, right?  Using the internet as a way to gather and store information?  Dastardly, to say the least.  So, why am I not worried about this?  Isn't privacy a legitimate concern, here?  Maybe...I guess...if, that is, you believe that any government anywhere really cares about your Facebook posts (Go Bears!  What a touchdown!), your Twitter feed (Just had the best tiramisu at this restaurant on Grant Ave! #foodmelikey), or your e-mails from grandma (FWD:FWD:FWD: insert lame political or racial joke).  I, personally, don't believe the Masters of the Universe are monitoring your phone calls to Nana on her birthday...I'm pretty sure there just isn't the manpower to scour through everyone's calls and e-mails everyday, all day.  Also, I tend to not accept calls from known terrorists, drug dealers, or wanted fugitives...but whatever.  I'm sure someone out there is seething about that..."Wait just a minute, Mr. Johnson, are you saying if we have nothing to hide, we have nothing to fear, so we should just give up our civil liberties, you jackbooted Trotskyite?"  No, not at all.  I value my personal privacy as much as the next guy...I just don't think most of us are going to draw the attention of spies from England, or anywhere else.  Moreover, what are you going to do about it?  They're spies.  Keeping their actions covert is kind of what they're all about.  Why so surprised, why so outraged?  It's like government corruption- I can't believe these stories produce more than a yawn.  Yes, the bogeyman exists.  The real question is whose bed is he hiding under, right?  But I'm afraid I'll have to end this little rant...I'm on to something big here...according to an unidentified source, it turns out that the UK is a constitutional monarchy!  I'd better start researching this new development right away. 

Add to Technorati FavoritesOkay, Here's The Deal...

Hello to all four of my readers, and thanks for following along.  Recently, I've noticed a trend taking shape, so I've decided to make some modifications.  Nothing drastic, mind you, there's just a few points I think I should make before we continue our "dialogue."  Here are the new rules, and I hope you four can learn to play nicely together.
 
1)  I write about whatever is on my mind, when and if I feel like it.  I'm not a professor, or a journalist, or an expert.  I do not have a degree in blogology, and I am not a doctor, nor do I claim to have ever played one on T.V.  I don't spend my time looking for sources or tracking down scoops, although I may have done some research.  What you read here are my opinions, and I stand by them...unless I have, over the course of some time, changed my mind.  Since they are my opinions, and it is my blog, I get to do that.
 
2)  Your spam is pissing me off.  I guess you think it's clever to string together a sentence that almost makes sense and then finish it off by tacking your own blog name, URL, or product at the end, but it's annoying to have to go through and pick through the comments and separate the spam from the actual readers who just don't have a good grasp of the English language.  No one who reads this blog is looing for great deals on fake Guicci watches or cares about your fake, hot, streaming, live webcam.  I encourage comments and discussion, but your attempts at self-promotion and spam will be terminated with extreme prejudice.
 
3)People named "Anonymous" who post comments will be taken less seriously than others.  I realize that not everyone wants to make their opinions known to the world, and I realize that not having a gmail account (Seriously?  You really don't have one?) can make it a pain in the ass to share your thoughts...that's why so many people continue the discussion on facebook after reading. For the rest of you, though, have the courage to put your name (even a made-up one) behind your convictions.  Only four people read this blog anyway, it's not like you're in any danger of the world finding out your secrets.
 
4)Yes, please, comment, continue the debate, that's what this blog is here for!  I try to share my opinions in a way that is A) intentionally confrontational   B) humorous  and C) open for debate.  Having said that, I do not need or want your advice on how to write, what topics I should write about (unless I actually ask), or where I should stick my keyboard.  Read the whole damned post before you comment, then take a minute or two to formulate your response.  Insults are fine, as long as they are clever and serve a purpose other than trolling, but don't get butthurt when it comes back at you.  Most importantly, STAY ON TOPIC.   Don't try to "cross-reference" me by pulling stuff up from another post that is not relevant.  All cries of "hypocrite" will be ignored.  So your doctor smokes two packs a day, but thinks you should quit for your health- is his opinion any less valid?  If you answered yes, you are at the wrong blog.  Go get your own.  I can't wait to read a blog post written by the world's first perfect person.
 
5)  Don't like the new rules?  Well, then go hang out at http://www.somethingawful.com/  and throw your two cents in there.  If you think I suck, just read their rules for posting.  You'll be happier there, anyway, Lefty, trust me.  I'm pretty sure all you have to do is type "George Bush Sucks" and they waive the $10 fee.
 
Well, that's all I've got for now.  Hopefully, the five of us can put the past behind us and move on.