Friday, June 25, 2010

Noted Scientist Plays Halflife 2, Loses Damn Mind


According to http://www.timesonline.co.uk/ , noted scientist Dr. Stephen Hawking is now warning us earthlings that, not only are aliens out there, we should all be very afraid of them, and for God's sake, stop trying to signal them. "To my mathematical brain," he says in the article, "the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational." I can't help but wonder if the good doctor just watched Independence Day for the first time or maybe got wrapped up in a kick-ass game of Halflife 2 a few years ago, because he goes on to say, "I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources on their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach." Will Smith? Gordon Freeman? Are you reading this? We may need you soon. Or...maybe.... maybe Dr. Hawking has an alien living in his brain already! That's the only reason I can think of why he might spew out this next little bit of elementary school wisdom, where he states, "If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much the same as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans." Here we go again with the evil Europeans and the poor peaceful natives thing. Either an alien is living in his brain, or it's a liberal third grade teacher, I'm not sure. WAIT! I know what you may be thinking! Who are you to question such a distinguished member of the scientific establishment, Mr. Johnson? Where are your academic credentials? Stephen Hawking is a genius! Maybe. That doesn't mean he hasn't lost his mind. Let me point you towards another mathematical mind, Sir Frederick Hoyle. He's the British astronomer who reminded us that the probability of life, any life, randomly being created and being able to reproduce "is about the same as the probability that a tornado sweeping through a junkyard could assemble a 747 from the contents therin." Where's he get that? Math. One chance in one followed by 40,000 zeros, that's how likely it is. As for Columbus, I think Mr. Hawking forgets that the discovery of America was brought about as an unintended consequence of trying to find a sea route to avoid the Muslims and trade with India and China. Columbus and his crew didn't eat up all of the grain in Spain and head to Cuba with Lasers in hand to conquer the Arawak, so...sorry, but no. Not the same. I just can't help but think the guy got a little too into HL2 and now roams around his house in the dark wearing a hazardous environment suit and killing invisible head crabs from Xen with a crowbar. If you have an interest in any more of his ramblings, you could always read here:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/space/article7107207.ece I think the whole argument can be summed up with a quote from Woody Allen, though. "The question is not, 'are there aliens out there,' the question is, 'do they have ray guns?'" Woody Allen...now there was a genius.
The image used is of an antlion from VALVe's Halflife2








Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The First Avenger: Captain America 2.0?


I'm a huge Captain America fan. His title was the only one I consistently bought and collected when I was a kid in the 1980s, and every now and then, as an adult, I still like to check in and see how my favorite superhero is doing. When I heard that marvel was going to do a live action movie for Captain America, I was thrilled beyond words...and a little scared. I wasn't afraid for the quality of the movie, that hasn't been an issue for me at all thanks to Sam Raimi and Tobey MacGuire's awesome work on Spiderman. But please, God, I beg you...do not let them try to "update" Cap for a "new generation!" I've seen the concept art for the movie that has been passed around on the web, and I....well, I hate it. I guess the idea is to make his costume (costume, not uniform) more practical for actual combat, to add things like a web belt, armor plating instead of the chain mail, but people, you have to remember...he's a freaking comic book superhero with superhuman abilities and a bulletproof shield. He doesn't, never needed, and never had anything else. His costume (yes, I said it again) is a symbol, it's not a suit of armor. I've seen in the discussion groups and forums where people are happy with the changes- they never liked the wings, they always thought his costume was cheesy, they're hoping for more changes...and they all sound to me like people who flat-out don't like the character, they don't even like Captain America! So who are they getting to put the movie together? From what I've read, it's people who have never read a Captain America comic book, don't know who Steve Rogers is, let alone Jack Kirby, and don't plan on reading the source material. Yeah, I'm scared. You see, Captain America, to me, isn't cheesy or outdated. Neither is what he stands for. The things Steve Rogers believed in, the things he fought for, and against, as Captain America, are all still relevant. Patriotism is not some old-fashioned concept forgotten in the 1940s. Liberty and love of country are not hokey or passe' ideas. You cannot update Captain America anymore than you can update Frank Sinatra, or apple pie, or baseball. Sure, there are things Cap will bring with him from the 40s when he's revived in the modern age, but that's another one of those things that makes him interesting...and what we discover is that, no matter what decade, some things just are. Messing with these things is as wrong as putting Brussels sprouts in your apple pie, adding a fifth base to baseball, or singing "Farmington Farmington" instead of "New York New York. " Please, no Cap 2.0.

How You Got Spyware and Why You Won't Believe Me


Whenever a person brings me a computer with the complaint that it is slow, they can't get on the internet, or that they keep getting strange popups, I usually discover the problem is spyware. Also, whenever I tell people this, the reaction is pretty much the same. "I don't have spyware," they say, with a sneer on their faces as if I were a doctor who told them they have herpes. Yes, you do. And you probably got it from Facebook, MySpace, or one of those free applications you installed without reading the terms or conditions first. I know, I know, you use facebook all the time, and you've never had any trouble. Yes, I realize you paid for Limewire, but you didn't pay for the music you're "sharing," and you're oblivious to the other things you're sharing along with it. You don't have to take my word for it; go to snopes.com, or just do a little google search. Heck, it's even been on the network news. "But I have Norton (or McAfee, or whatever)! Shouldn't that protect me," you may be asking. NO. Why? Well, because you don't necessarily have a virus, what you have is a piece of malware that you yourself allowed on to your computer. Yes, you clicked on something. It may have been a hyperlink in an e-mail, a website you visited may have claimed you needed to download something in order to view the content, or maybe you saw a popup and tried to close it. Often, when you think you're clicking "cancel," or something to that effect, it actually starts a silent download, installing itself as a browser helper object (like your google toolbar), and since it's user-initiated, your antivirus software is instructed to ignore it. Something to remember- if you ever see a warning in your system tray or from anything other than the antivirus software you installed, it is bogus. Windows won't ever tell you you're infected. It doesn't care. I have witnessed these popups on legitimate, well-respected websites, too, so don't imagine that just because you are at http://www.nytimes.com/ that you are immune. The people who are responsible for these threats are very good at what they do, and the popups can be very deceptive, often mimicking the Windows Security Center or a known antivirus program. You should also be careful whom you decide to accept friend invitations from. There are "booby trapped" myspace profiles, and that message in your e-mail from the hot guy or girl you don't recognize that found you through the "friendfinder" is phony. I could go on for hours, and I could cite different sources, but the information is out there for you to find if you still don't believe me, so now I'll just tell you what you really need to know. The number one cause of spyware infection is user behavior and web surfing patterns. Don't click on stuff that looks suspicious or offers you free solutions for problems you don't have. Don't try to download or watch movies illegaly. Don't go looking for crackz or warez or try to find ways around paying for software and games. Avoid pornography-trust me, a subscription to Penthouse is way cheaper than a computer repair bill. If you use Limewire, Morpheus, Frostwire, or any thing like them, uninstall them. You are sharing more than you know- do we really need to have the "safe sex" talk here? Finally, read the terms and conditions and ask yourself: if this is such an awesome product, why are they giving it to me? Now, since you do all of the above and haven't had a problem yet, I know you don't believe me...but when you do get infected, I recommend this website http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/ Follow the instructions to the letter, and you'll be back in business. Happy surfing!

The picture used is of "The Spy" from VALVe's "TeamFortress 2"