A friend in South Carolina sent me a forward of a forward of a forward, part of a chain letter hoax, credited to George Carlin, which is just slightly further than I'm willing to go. For example, I think stranding third world immigrants from Latin America in another third world country in the Middle East is pretty callous, but the author of this probable hoax makes a valid point for providing a path to legal citizenship. Read the chain letter, and then I'll offer my sage analysis.
"George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline "
"Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop Using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq . Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military . Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved. "
I know, I know. Some of you out there may be reading this and saying, "That's not just impractical and stupid, that's racist!" Because Carlin is a white guy with opinions, he probably gets that a lot, although he probably never even said it. But what's wrong with the idea of offering citizenship through military service? Doesn't that show a certain determination? If it's so lousy in Mexico or Guatemala that you are willing to go to Iraq or Afghanistan just so you can become an American, I will proudly shake your hand at the poling precinct and welcome you as a citizen. Assuming of course, that during your service, someone taught you to speak English. I can only be so accommodating. Now, Carlin is a comedian who, at one time in his career, was considered funny by a lot of people, and the author is just trying to emulate him, so you have to understand that some of these points are just for yuks. Still, if any immigrant wants a clear path to citizenship, then why not offer military service as an option?
I'm not even suggesting that they have to go into the war zone, here, folks, they don't have to go straight to Fallujah and start killing right away. There's definitely a problem with putting all captured illegal immigrants on a jumbo jet bound for Iraq with a bunch of surplus rifles and a few hand grenades, then letting them loose. Still, what's wrong with making them serve in some fashion, maybe in the motor pool or mess hall? There's even a precedent for it. Remember the Irish Brigade from your history books? I wouldn't make it mandatory, as it is in Isreal, though, because after all, not every person is going to have the fortitude to serve in that capacity, but offer them the choice. They may serve honorably to be recognised, go through legal channels and climb bureaucrat mountain, or get back on the boat. As for the strain on our nation's resources like gasoline, well, I can't say that deportation is the answer, Mr. Carlin, or whomever had this idea, but at least you're thinking.
"George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline "
"Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop Using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq . Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military . Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved. "
I know, I know. Some of you out there may be reading this and saying, "That's not just impractical and stupid, that's racist!" Because Carlin is a white guy with opinions, he probably gets that a lot, although he probably never even said it. But what's wrong with the idea of offering citizenship through military service? Doesn't that show a certain determination? If it's so lousy in Mexico or Guatemala that you are willing to go to Iraq or Afghanistan just so you can become an American, I will proudly shake your hand at the poling precinct and welcome you as a citizen. Assuming of course, that during your service, someone taught you to speak English. I can only be so accommodating. Now, Carlin is a comedian who, at one time in his career, was considered funny by a lot of people, and the author is just trying to emulate him, so you have to understand that some of these points are just for yuks. Still, if any immigrant wants a clear path to citizenship, then why not offer military service as an option?
I'm not even suggesting that they have to go into the war zone, here, folks, they don't have to go straight to Fallujah and start killing right away. There's definitely a problem with putting all captured illegal immigrants on a jumbo jet bound for Iraq with a bunch of surplus rifles and a few hand grenades, then letting them loose. Still, what's wrong with making them serve in some fashion, maybe in the motor pool or mess hall? There's even a precedent for it. Remember the Irish Brigade from your history books? I wouldn't make it mandatory, as it is in Isreal, though, because after all, not every person is going to have the fortitude to serve in that capacity, but offer them the choice. They may serve honorably to be recognised, go through legal channels and climb bureaucrat mountain, or get back on the boat. As for the strain on our nation's resources like gasoline, well, I can't say that deportation is the answer, Mr. Carlin, or whomever had this idea, but at least you're thinking.
1 comment:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlingas.asp
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