The Bill of Rights for Dummies

Four score and not too long ago, I posted an article called, "The Declaration for Dummies."  Some of you liked it and suggested I expand on the idea of "simple."  Why does my lawyer feel the need to say things in Latin and then smile and explain it all to me in English?  Why does my wife's doctor tell her what's wrong with her in Greek, then break it down in to one or two syllables after handing her a prescription?  Why do I tell people that there is an inconsistancy in the fifth hive of their registry due to a bad sector instead of just telling them they need a new hard drive?  As a wise man once said, "keep it simple, stupid."  It's the same garbage we've been dealing with since creation, as evidenced by the fact that we need over 2,000 laws to enforce ten simple commandments.  So, here, for your edification, is the Bill of Rights..."dumbed down."
     The Preamble: "On December 15, 1791, the U.S. Congress met in New York and decided we hadn't done enough to make sure the people don't get screwed, so we added a few things.  We're allowed to do that thanks to the 5th Article of the original Constitution.   The "meat" of it:  :First thing:   Lawmakers can't establish a national religion, and can't pass any law that keeps you from being whatever religion you are.  Also, you're allowed to pretty much say or write what ever you want, and if you want to get together and talk about how much the government sucks, you can do that, too.  Second Thing:  We're not going to stop you from carrying weapons because it might be a good idea to have some armed civilians around in case the government ever starts to push us around again like King George did.  Third thing:  We won't make you keep soldiers in your house without asking first...unless we pass a law that says we can.  Fourth thing:  The government can't just break down your door or snoop around in your business unless we have a good reason, and even then, we have to put it in writing.  Fifth thing:  If you have to go to court for murder or something, you get to be judged by your neighbors...unless we're at war, and you're a soldier.  On top of that, we won't take you to court for the same thing twice, and you can keep your mouth shut, if you think talking makes you look more guilty. Also, we won't take your stuff without a good reason, or at least without offering to pay for it first.  Sixth thing:  If we do take you to court, we promise it will be quick and it will be in your neighborhood.  Also, you get to know why, you get to face the people who called you out, and you get a lawyer to stick up for you.  Seventh thing:  When it comes to money, if it's over twenty bucks, you get to have a jury trial, and once the court decides, that's it.  Eighth thing:  If you're guilty, we won't cut off your feet and beat you into the ground or fine you some ridiculous amount of money like a gazillion dollars.  Ninth thing:  Just because a right isn't listed in the constitution doesn't mean it doesn't exist.    Thing ten:  If the constitution doesn't say the federal government has a power, then the power belongs to the states or to the people in general."   Well, that's the original ten, anyway, and not a syllable of it was in Latin.  That wasn't so hard, was it?  Now, there's nothing in there about the right to murder people, or about the right to lust after your best friend's wife, or the right to lie about people you hate, but then, like I said, why should we have over 2,000 laws to enforce ten simple rules everyone ought to know by now?