What Big Bird Really Thinks of You

Those of us who like to flap our right wing more than our left have always believed the media in America slants to the left, but thanks to James O'Keefe and his recent sting, now we know the mighty ship that is the corporation for public broadcasting doesn't just have a port-side list, it's practically ready to capsize. I've personally believed this since I was old enough to know what the words "liberal democrat" mean, but whenever I brought it up, I was told to shut up, it's just a kids' show. Well, here is what Big Bird really thinks about you and your kids. If you live in the south or Midwest, you are a Hun. A barbarian. You wake up in the morning hating brown people. You ride to work on a cow. When you've finished sloping the hogs and tending to your moonshine, you clean your gun and go to a KKK rally (which is what they think all Tea Party rallies are) in your evil gas-guzzling pick-up truck. After that, you snap on your 1939 RCA radio and tune in to Hitler's evening broadcast (which is who they think is broadcasting on talk radio), because you aren't educated enough to read a newspaper. You eat your corn bread for dinner, then pray to your outdated christian god before passing out from all of the moonshine you've been drinking all day. If you live in the north, east, or west, there isn't a fence high enough to keep you out (although they abhor fences). You are the barbarian next door. You wake up in the morning to the sound of the factory whistle and then head to the docks to haul in the fish. Because you are selfish, and don't care about mother earth, you pave over everything in site to make it easier for you to get to the mall in your buses and taxis and cars instead of relying on safe, clean, reliable, wind-powered trains. You are greasers and punks and yuppies, who are polluting the globe with your filthy cities, and there are just too damned many of you. It's because of you evil Zionists and Jews that we have so many wars. Unless you're an immigrant. Then, you poor dear, you must be catered to in order to offset all of the racism you face here. Shall we translate that into Arabic for you? Perhaps Spanish? Oh, you're from Poland? Italy? Japan? Well, never mind, then. The only hope for you and your ignorant little children is Big Bird and NPR. Big Bird will teach you tolerance (unless you're a Muslim), sharing (because that's what socialism is all about, right?), and how to care for Mother Earth (don't listen to those flat-earthers who tell you petroleum comes out of the ground and carbon dioxide is not a pollutant). Once you've grown, hopefully you won't want to be an ignorant pig farmer or longshoreman like your dads. You'll go on to college and become big-brained lawyers and social workers. And you'll tune in to PBS and NPR so that we can tell you what the evil Israelis are up to and how the greedy capitalists (anyone who owns a business or makes money from a non-taxpayer funded job) are destroying the lives of the people in the Third World and making health care so expensive. How do I know this is what Big Bird thinks? Because Ron Shiller told us so when he thought he was having a private conversation with a group supported by the Muslim Brotherhood. Well, thanks for telling us all how you really feel, Big Bird. Now that we know, we'll take our tax money back now. Without that, I think your ship will sink and you and your Jew-hating elitist snob crew can tread water until Hell freezes over.
Here's a link for the sting video. You should watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd9OYJMX9t4