The Declaration for Dummies

One of the biggest complaints people have about history is that it's old.  When I was in college, I had to read    New Atlantis and The Great Instauration  by Francis Bacon.  I tried.  I really did.  The problem was, it is impossible to read.  A single sentence was as long as a modern paragraph, and every word that wasn't "the" or "of," I had to consult a dictionary.  This is why so many kids are turned off by Shakespeare, honestly.  Too many "thou"s and "dost"s.  This is why we have to have Supreme Court justices; not just to tell us whether a thing is constitutional or not, but to tell us what the hell the Constitution says.  Does the document mean what it says, or do we need to interpret the old, muddled, antiquated language?  I happen to believe that the framers of the constitution meant exactly what they said- they just tended to say things a little less plainly than we do today.  They said "bear arms" when I'd just say, "carry weapons."  So, in an attempt to demystify history, I present you with a "dumbed down" version of the Declaration of Independence.

"All 13 of us agreed on the 4th of July, 1776, that we  are a united American nation.  We want to break away from the mother country and do our own thing (which is only natural...God himself would agree).  Anyway, we think we ought to tell you why we're leaving.  This stuff should be obvious, even to idiots.  God made everybody the same, and everybody has rights you can't take away, like life, freedom, and finding a way to make yourself happy.  To make sure no body messes with our rights, people form governments, and the governments get their power from the people that made them.  If the government starts pushing people around, though, people have a right to throw the bums out and put something together they think is better.  It would be stupid to have a revolution over one tiny little thing or on a whim, so usually people just take the abuse instead of standing up for themselves because they're afraid of change.  People get fed up after awhile, though, and when the government steps over the line, the people can...no, actually, people need to throw the bums out and make a new government.  That's kind of where we're at now, we've had all we can take, and we just can't take anymore- so, we're leaving.  The king of England has done nothing but kick us around for as long as we can remember, and in case you don't believe us, we're going to list all the crap we've put up with."
  The list goes on for a while.  I'm not sure how Jefferson managed to fit it all on one piece of parchment.  Anyway, you get my point.  Thomas Jefferson was obviously an intelligent man with a command of the English language, and the Declaration is perfect in every way.  It just takes a little thought.  These days, people tend to write exactly the way they speak, so I doubt if this document could have been written today. That's O.K.  I'm not saying everyone needs to speak like a flowered fop. Sometimes, simple is best. One of the things I always liked about George Bush was that he wasn't glib, he didn't sound, or even try to sound, as if Shakespeare wrote all of his speeches.  The idea, here, is that while I appreciate the declaration the way it was written, I am not so impressed by someone who can recite it, and that is where I think teachers and especially politicians fail.  What's important is what it means.  You can't trust your teachers or your politicians to make sense of it for you, or even me.  Read it.  Understand it.  Live it.  Love it.

Who Turned Out The Lights?

Are you ready to party like it's 1899?  At 8:00PM tomorrow evening, everyone is encouraged to turn off all electric lights for one hour in a useless gesture of "caring" during Earth Hour.  I thought we were finally over all of this bogus global warming crap, especially since it was proven back in 2009 that the so-called scientists monitoring climate change had actually manipulated their data. If you don't remember, or never heard about, "climategate," you can refresh your memory here:  http://news.sciencemag.org/scienceinsider/2009/11/in-climate-hack.html  It's bogus, people.  It's all made up. This kind of foolishness makes me want to break things, it really does.  Don't you environmental kooks realize what electricity did for civilization?  We are not that far removed from a time when "burning the midnight oil" meant just that!  It wasn't even a hundred years ago that your grandfather actually did walk five miles to school in the snow, because there was no such thing as a school bus.  In 1911, if you fell asleep reading a book and knocked over your candle, you might set fire to the whole neighborhood, and there were no fire engines, because there were no engines, just horses!  Mom couldn't e-mail dad to buy some milk on the way home from work, even if she had time,which she didn't because there were no convenient electric appliances to help her with her work!  Laser surgery?  Nope.  Refrigeration?  Huh-uh.  Hot water heater?  Try the wood-burning stove.  Energy from coal and gas changed everything. Edison's light bulb rolled back the night and made it possible for you to do so much more!  Edison was even quoted as saying, "We'll make electricity so cheap, only the rich will burn candles," and he was right!  Cheap and reliable energy has changed the world.  Look, It's not like I want to cut down all of the rain forests, pave all of the lakes, and build mini malls in our national parks.  I agree, we should not pollute our water or air.  Common sense will tell you that, you don't need Al Gore to tell you clean air and water are important. But people, turning your lights off for an hour tomorrow is just plain stupid.  It only proves that you can be made to feel guilty by people who out consume you everyday by a hundred times.  You are not saving the planet, not even symbolically, because the planet is in no danger. Even if carbon dioxide was a pollutant (it isn't), even if the earth is getting measurably warmer (its' not), and even if oil weren't a natural product (it is), the earth was here before us, and will be here after us.  I actually posted on this idiocy back in 2008, and you can find that post in the archive here:  http://blogoftheunion.blogspot.com/2008/03/google-goes-black-to-go-green.html  Read that if you want to know what a real waste of time this is.  The bottom line for me, though is, why the hell would we ever want to go back to the way things were in 1899?

You Rock, I'll Vote

Well, it looks like Garth Brooks just became a Dixie Chick.  He just had to open is mouth when somebody asked him about Obama.  When are these celebrities going to learn?  Having opinions is dangerous and stupid  in this country!  Especially for you people!  Frankly, I never liked Garth Brooks in the first place. Sorry.  I'm just not a "country" guy.  I'd like to feel bad for him, but it's like these celebrities have a class they all have to take on how to alienate half of their fan base.  Truth be told, he didn't even say anything bad, all he did was say he supports the president, which is way nicer than what the Dixie Chicks got into trouble for, but sure enough, the social networks are all a-buzz with people claiming they will now burn his CDs and never attend another concert of his.  Another truth be told, Brooks doesn't need their money or praise anymore...I mean, the guy sold more records than Elvis, so he'll be just fine.  Burn his CDs, I'm sure he doesn't care.  Thing is, I don't care either.  I don't care if you burn his crappy CDs, and I don't care what he thinks about the president.  Or anything else, for that matter.  I didn't care what the Dixie Chicks thought, I didn't care what Madonna thought, and I will never care if Sheryl Crow uses toilette paper or tree bark.  I know all of these celebrities start getting ideas in their heads when they reach a certain level of fame.  After your picture is on the cover of Rolling Stone, suddenly you have to have "social consciousness" and tell everybody else not just what you think, but that if we really care, we'd think the same way.  Rock the Vote!  Save the Rain Forests!  Support the Troops!  How about this one?  Shut your face.  Entertain me.  Cash your check and leave me alone, already.  I can think for myself.  No, they can't do that, though, because some agent or crusader starts whispering in their ear, maybe they look at their millions and start to feel guilty, like maybe they aren't doing enough.  Maybe they get sucker punched by a reporter outside of a red carpet event, or maybe they just have a big old helping of stupid with dinner before the next show.  I'm going to let you in on a little secret about me.  Shhhh...don't tell anyone....I don't give a crap about your causes, your politics, or your pet projects!  Guess what else?  I can watch a Michael jackson video without wondering if he was really into little boys.  I can listen to a Beatles song without wondering what drugs they were on.  So please, celebrities...just save it.  And Garth, you really ought to know better.  Who's albums do you think are on the jukebox at the bowling alley while all the Tea Party people are complaining about the government over a cold pitcher of beer?  Look, before another one of you goes nuts like Charlie Sheen or Mel the Jew Hating Gibson, just take my advice.  Shut up.  Go Garbo and stay silent.  You rock, I'll vote.

Pesky Little Thing Just Won't Go Away

Donald Trump has headed to the bone yard of politics.  Most people who want to be taken seriously in politics, or even life in general, tend to stay away from the topic of President Obama's birth certificate, but Trump took his view to "The View" on ABC and reignited a debate thought by most of us to be dead and buried.  People like Rev. Manning are perceived as nuts, and even Speaker Boehner had to come out on Meet The Press and declare that he is not a "birther," but Donald Trump decided to go on a television show overflowing with support for Barack Obama and say in front of Whoopie Goldberg, Joy Behar, and Barbara Walters (who used to be a journalist, they say), that Obama has not shown his birth certificate because "there's something on that birth certificate that [Obama] doesn't like."  Talk show hosts like Bill O'Reilly and Mark Levin go out of their way to let every one know that they may disagree with the president's policies, but they don't accuse him of being foreign-born and generally mock people that do ("Get out of here, you idiot," Levin would say, "I don't have time for this crap!").  Trump, however, who is considering a run for the presidency, takes issue with that.  "I'm like a really smart guy.  They make these birthers into the worst idiots.  Why doesn't he show his birth certificate," he asked.  Well...most people will tell you it's because he shouldn't have to, after all, as Whoopie pointed out on The View (before she accused him of being s racist), no one ever asked to see George Bush's birth certificate.  And that's true- but they did ask to see John McCain's, which he presented, proving he was born in American territory (the Panama Canal zone, in fact).  At this point, you may be saying, "Oh, come on, Mr. Johnson, you mouth-breathing idiot, are you a birther, too, now, just because Trump said some stupid stuff on The View?"  Well, I don't like your tone.  But it's irrelevant, because Obama  is the president.  The records are sealed, along with his Columbia University records, his Harvard Law School records, and his passport, and they may never be seen, but it doesn't matter because he was elected, sworn in, and that's that.  Still...why not show it?  I mean, it would shut everybody up, wouldn't it?  I mean, if somebody challenged my citizenship, I could prove it right now, and I would- just to make them look stupid.  I'd whip out my passport, or a copy of my birth certificate with the raised stamped seal of the state of Florida, and I'd say, "Happy now, Jackass?"  So- why doesn't he?  The argument has been, "well, he doesn't have to prove anything to those crazy racists!"  Maybe, but- don't you kind of have to prove that you're eligible to be President?  Like I said, though, it doesn't really matter at this point, because he won, he got the job.  I don't think we'll have a constitutional crisis on our hands or have to do 2008 all over again, do you?  But there's this little voice in my head that keeps saying, "why doesn't he just show it already, and then we can be done with it? Is he hiding something?"  That pesky little voice must be in Donald Trump's head, too.  You can watch his comments here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwVlDxhqrtw&feature=player_embedded#at=157

Order The Airstrike And Kick That Ball Over Here!

Once again, America has taken the lead on the world stage and engaged in military action.  A day late and a dollar short, you might say...but apparently we were waiting for the French and the rest of the U.N. to give us permission.  Barack Obama is not the cowboy that George Bush was, after all.  I, for one, would just like to say that I support the president.  I'd like saying it a whole lot more, however, if he weren't sightseeing in Brazil.  Now hold on, I know you're about to bring up the whole "now, watch this drive" thing with George Bush, but that little catch phrase was uttered way before we went to war with Iraq.  Besides that, I have nothing against the president going to a Sox game, or whatever, to relax.  Moreover, I also understand that this trip to South America is important to America's interests.  Heck, if you can take the wife and kids to Rio for a little vacation and get some work done at the same time, why not go for it?  EXCEPT when you've just ordered American warplanes to drop bombs on another world leader's house.  That's just asking for it.  One news source I'm checking shows the bombed out ruin that was a command center at Gaddafi's compound, and another one is showing images of Obama playing soccer with some kid and hanging out with the family in front of the famous Christ the Redeemer statue.  Neither site showed images of our president engaged in thoughtful conversation with the Joint Chiefs or even looking at a newspaper.  "So what, Mr. Johnson," you may be saying, "didn't Bush spend most of his time in Texas?  What about all of that, you republitard hack?"  Ow.  That stings.  But seriously, don't you think there's a bit of a difference between a working vacation at your ranch in Texas and being completely out of the country, out of the hemisphere?  Mr. President, I know you didn't want to have to do this in the first place.  And I know that this is the 21st century.  You're probably getting updates on your Blackberry, you're fully aware of what's going on in the world, because you check your Facebook status pretty regularly.  It just doesn't look good.  I really thought you were a little more media savvy than this...I mean, last week, you were throwing out your picks for March Madness as the world was watching the Middle East burn...you just seem....out of touch.  Besides, if something happens to you down there, we're left with Joe freaking Biden, a guy who makes Dan Quayle look like Aristotle.  To top it all off, you had to go and tell Gaddafi that you won't commit to sending in ground troops, and you'd really rather hand it off to the French or anybody else that's willing after a few days have gone by!  Wow.  Why don't you just give him the exact date and time that the bombs will stop falling so he knows when it's safe to come out again?  Look, I know you're a pleaser.  You want everyone to like you.  But listen, you can't be all things to all people.  So, are you the president of  The United States, or are you Pele'?

While You Were Sleeping

Do you know what an EMP is?  Well, the North Koreans do.  Yep, while you were chewing on your finger nails because of the hyped-up threat of contamination from Japan's damaged nuclear power plant, North Korea kept right on working on a bomb that, when detonated 25 miles above ground, would cripple every computer, cellphone, and radar tower within 60 miles.  Not only that, it turns out they have a whole mess of advanced, uranium-enriching centrifuges in operation which could be quickly converted to make nuclear weapons- that is, if they haven't already been doing that.  So all of those sanctions the diplomats are always talking about, all of those deals we made...yeah, that didn't stop them.  All of that bargaining, all of the food and cash we've traded with them for a promise to not do exactly what they're doing, and what do we get?  A big freaking "KICK ME" sign on our backs.  "So what," you might be saying, "what the hell do we care if the NoKor Commies want a bomb?"  Well, I guess if you forget the fact that we and our ally South Korea are still technically at war with them...if you forget the fact that we have over 30,000 service men and women stationed there...if you forget the fact that North Korea isn't any further away than the Russians...hey, what's to worry about?  Let's go back to watching March Madness, right?  Pass me a beer.  Oh, wait...keep that one cold for me, will you, because it turns out North Korea isn't just building this stuff, they're also advertising it for sale to our other enemies in the Middle East!  You know-another place where we have tens of thousands of soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen?  You're such ans alarmist, Mr. Johnson, some of you are saying, how do you even know any of this stuff is true, you war-mongering dolt?  Well, aren't you clever.  Can you, read, too?  Then read this from ABC News.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/electronic-warfare-north-korea-nears-completion-electromagnetic-pulse/story?id=13081667&page=1
Finished yet?  So, am I still a warmonger, fearmonger, fishmonger, what ever else monger?  Or maybe I just want our leaders to stop playing hopscotch with places like Iran and North Korea and actually put something out there that has some teeth in it instead of begging them not to do stuff while paying out the ransom cash.  Bullies only understand one thing.  So are we going to be The United States of America, or are we going to be wiping blood off of our nose with our shirt sleeve as we hand over our lunch money?  We look like Bugs Bunny to these people, drawing a line in the sand and then when Yosimite Sam crosses it, we just draw another line. "Yeah?  Well, don't you dare cross this one, bub!"  This is exactly what these goons want, don't you see that?  They want us to make some insignificant statements, wag our index fingers at the T.V. cameras,  then turn our ball caps backwards and go back to the Final Four, American Idol, and pornography.  I mean, important, ground shaking things are happening, and our leaders are biting each other on the butt and throwing out their basketball picks!  Mr. President, Madam Secretary, it's time to wake up now, please.

Searching For Reagan

Before you read too much into the title of this post, let me assure you all that I am well aware Reagan is dead. I know he's not coming back, and I promise I am not going to compare everyone to Reagan when this next presidential election cycle kicks in. I don't sit around in my underwear watching Fox News moaning, "what would Reagan do?" That's not what this is about. Really, the idea of "Searching for Reagan" goes back to my very first post. I've been asked by liberals why conservatives always seem to be looking for "the next Reagan," and I've been berated by conservatives who tell me to stop talking about him, that we need to find a new leader. Well, there you go again. To be honest, nostalgia plays a big part. After all, he was our leader when I was between the ages of six and fourteen, he was what I knew for eight years, and frankly, those were eight good years for me, but there's more to it than that. When I look at President Obama's response to the insurrection in Libya, I can't help but remember that Reagan dropped bombs on that little twerp's house. Everyone knew that Gaddafi was a sponsor of Islamic terrorists, that he was training suicide squads, that he talked about assassinating Reagan. Reagan's response? A bomb in your lap, buddy. It may not have killed him, but he hasn't messed with us since, has he? When I think about President Obama's response to the voter protests in Iran, I remember Operation Praying Mantis. When Iran damaged an American vessel, Reagan sunk their navy. While Obama was telling the Russians where all of our nukes are and promising not to make any more, I thought back to Reykjavik. Gorbachev said, "we'll reduce our nukes if you stop working on defenses against them." What Reagan said? "No." Obama is yoga. Reagan is kickboxing. He also had a way with the press. He knew who these people are and how to talk to them. When asked by Sam Donaldson if Reagan would accept any of the blame for the recession, Reagan quipped, "yes, because for years, I was a democrat." He understood liberals, how liberals use language to frame the debate, and he redefined the debates on his terms. He rejected class warfare in favor of prosperity for everybody. There was no right or left, there was up or down. Because of his two landslide victories, people still refer to the "Reagan Democrats." He knew how to get his message out. Just think back to the 1980s for a second. We finally welcomed our Viet Nam veterans home. We restored the statue of liberty. People were singing "Born in the USA" not because of whatever point Bruce Springsteen was trying to get across, but because they were proud to be Americans. G.I. Joe was a real American Hero. Tell me you didn't watch Red Dawn and cheer Patrick Swayze on. Tell me Mary Lou Retton didn't make you proud. Lie to me and say you weren't stoked to hear Rambo was coming back for blood. America was just...different under Ronald Reagan. Some of you will try to remind me about Iran-Contra and Ollie North. Let me just say that even though there was nothing illegal about it, it bothered me, too...and I believe it bothered and saddened Reagan, too. Leadership is tough. But Reagan did lead. Reagan made me feel good about my country, which I think was important for everyone after Viet Nam, After Nixon, After Carter. That's what I'm searching for. Not just Reagan. I don't want Reagan back, I don't want to relive the 1980s...I want to feel good about America again. I want to feel that optimism, that-dare I say it? Hope.

Fear Itself

I've always been a little suspicious of the established media, that Alphabet Soup of news peddlers like ABC, CBS, and NBC, even more so since Dan Rather got duped into reporting on forged documents back in 2004. We don't have to go there, I'm sure if you're older than eleven, you remember. I'm sure we have all come to expect that people who want to sell newspapers and advertising space will toss out a sensationalized story with an eye-grabber of a headline, and if it helps them push their agenda, even better. So, imagine the payday you can expect if you publish a headline like, MELTDOWN! ANOTHER CHERNOBYL!
Unfortunately, there is a very real crisis going on in Japan right now; there is great suffering there due to the earthquake that happened on March 11th, and there is a nuclear power plant involved...but the pictures you see under the headlines are not of that power plant, they are of a natural gas plant and an oil refinery. Those two accidents are bad enough, I admit, but putting the words "nuclear" or "meltdown" next to or above them is just plain deceptive. And is this really going to be as bad as the Chernoyl accident? Well...no, probably not. Actually, it won't even be as bad as our own accident at Three-Mile Island, most likely. It's not good, obviously, but the Japanese say it's manageable. Why do I believe them? Well, for one thing, you have to get both sides of the story. For another...well, there's a good article on that here, actually.
http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/fear-the-media-meltdown-not-the-nuclear-one/
I heard on the radio that people in Hawaii, California, and Oregon were so scared out of their wits by this that they are buying up radiation pills and decontamination kits like there's no tomorrow. No really, like tomorrow actually won't come because of all of the radiation. Of course, if you went online yesterday and saw the headline news at msn or yahoo, You probably thought the sky was falling, too. In fact, there's an article on msnbc right now that says, "top nuclear energy chief suggesting that one crippled reactor was in danger of a complete meltdown," and the nightly business report just referred to the situation as a "nuclear crisis." That sounds pretty bad, right? Any time you put the words "reactor" and "meltdown in a sentence together and you are not writing a sci-fi script, it's going to make people panic just a little bit. To be honest, I can't tell you that Japan won't just slip into the sea two days from now...but I'm thinking it isn't likely, so I'm not reporting that here. Just doesn't seem ethical, somehow. So, please, don't go running off to the supermarket looking for radiation pills, folks. Just remember that many of the so-called experts the news channels are interviewing are really activists who have been pushing us all to get rid of nuclear power since the 1970s. They are just using your fear to push their agenda and/or sell newspapers. As the man once said, the only thing we have to fear...By the way, let me just point out, here, that I am not Homer Simpson. I do not work at a nuclear power plant, and I do not have a dog in this fight. All well-built reactors have have the capacity for a "meltdown," but that doesn't mean we all have to.

Hope and Change for a $100 Bill

So this is what "hope and change" looks like. 8.9% unemployment, $3.39 a gallon for gasoline, the president all but ignores the rulings of our judiciary, and our currency and standing in the world are diminished to microscopic levels. What the Hell happened? Is this the new "normal," now? Seriously? When the Persian people of Iran, our enemy, took to the streets in 2009, our government didn't want to meddle, but when the people of Egypt rose up against our ally Mubarak, well, he's got to go! Since when does America backhand it's allies and bow to its' enemies? Gas prices keep going up, and the news organizations tell us it's due to the conflict in Libya, even though we know for a fact Libya isn't even in the top fifteen of countries we get our oil from. We have plenty of oil here at home, but we aren't allowed to drill for it because of the potential for environmental disaster! Remember the BP oil spill? They told us if we didn't cap the well, it would just keep pouring out, maybe for a decade! If I learned anything from the BP oil spill, it was that there is no shortage of oil in the Gulf of Mexico and that America can bounce back pretty quickly from disasters. Yet, in a time when most Americans are short on cash, our government puts a moratorium on drilling, which not only kills jobs, increases our demand for foreign oil, and drives up the cost of gasoline, it makes us look down-right idiotic when the Chinese are drilling all over the world. Of course, that moratorium was struck down by a federal judge almost a year ago, but we're still not allowed to drill. 33 exploratory drilling projects were held up by the government, but don't worry, right? We're putting our money on "new" technology like windmills! But what do the windmills run on when there's no wind? Oh, that's right, they run on generators which need OIL and GAS! Meanwhile, as our economy gets worse, we're told by our news media that it's actually getting better! Sure, break out the booze, we're down to 8.9%! It's been a hard crawl, but the administration insists that this was handed to them by George Bush...no, wait- George Bush left office with unemployment at 7.9%, didn't he? And weren't we promised it would never go above 8%? Right. because of all of those "shovel-ready" jobs. Well, I know what to do with my shovel. But while we're on the topic, what ever happened to the $787 billion dollars we didn't have but spent anyway on the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009? Well...according to http://www.recovery.gov $259 billion went to "tax benefits," $180.7 billion went to "contracts and grants," and $184.4 billion went to "entitlements." Where are the shovels? Where are the jobs? And where is the other 8% of your money? You see, our economics teachers in high school used to lie to us and tell us that we owed the money to ourselves, but the truth is we've been borrowing it from the Chinese communists for YEARS. So, knowing that we- no, wait...our grandchildren owe China, what does our government do? Well, the Federal Reserve wants us to print more money, and the people we just sent to Congress to deal with out of control spending and debt want to raise the ceiling on our "national" debt! And while all of this is going on, the states are in trouble with the union mobs because they just don't have the money to keep paying workers after they've stop working for the states!But the best part, the real gravy, here, is that if you disagree with our "post-racial" president on any of these things, or illegal immigration, or on the justice department, or anything at all, you're a racist. So- why aren't you angry? There are three possibilities- 1) You like what's happening to America. 2) You are so jaded that you don't even care. 3) You are too busy trying to figure out how to stay afloat to be angry. But if you are angry, then what are you going to do about it besides hope the cashier at the gas station has change for a $100 bill?

What Big Bird Really Thinks of You

Those of us who like to flap our right wing more than our left have always believed the media in America slants to the left, but thanks to James O'Keefe and his recent sting, now we know the mighty ship that is the corporation for public broadcasting doesn't just have a port-side list, it's practically ready to capsize. I've personally believed this since I was old enough to know what the words "liberal democrat" mean, but whenever I brought it up, I was told to shut up, it's just a kids' show. Well, here is what Big Bird really thinks about you and your kids. If you live in the south or Midwest, you are a Hun. A barbarian. You wake up in the morning hating brown people. You ride to work on a cow. When you've finished sloping the hogs and tending to your moonshine, you clean your gun and go to a KKK rally (which is what they think all Tea Party rallies are) in your evil gas-guzzling pick-up truck. After that, you snap on your 1939 RCA radio and tune in to Hitler's evening broadcast (which is who they think is broadcasting on talk radio), because you aren't educated enough to read a newspaper. You eat your corn bread for dinner, then pray to your outdated christian god before passing out from all of the moonshine you've been drinking all day. If you live in the north, east, or west, there isn't a fence high enough to keep you out (although they abhor fences). You are the barbarian next door. You wake up in the morning to the sound of the factory whistle and then head to the docks to haul in the fish. Because you are selfish, and don't care about mother earth, you pave over everything in site to make it easier for you to get to the mall in your buses and taxis and cars instead of relying on safe, clean, reliable, wind-powered trains. You are greasers and punks and yuppies, who are polluting the globe with your filthy cities, and there are just too damned many of you. It's because of you evil Zionists and Jews that we have so many wars. Unless you're an immigrant. Then, you poor dear, you must be catered to in order to offset all of the racism you face here. Shall we translate that into Arabic for you? Perhaps Spanish? Oh, you're from Poland? Italy? Japan? Well, never mind, then. The only hope for you and your ignorant little children is Big Bird and NPR. Big Bird will teach you tolerance (unless you're a Muslim), sharing (because that's what socialism is all about, right?), and how to care for Mother Earth (don't listen to those flat-earthers who tell you petroleum comes out of the ground and carbon dioxide is not a pollutant). Once you've grown, hopefully you won't want to be an ignorant pig farmer or longshoreman like your dads. You'll go on to college and become big-brained lawyers and social workers. And you'll tune in to PBS and NPR so that we can tell you what the evil Israelis are up to and how the greedy capitalists (anyone who owns a business or makes money from a non-taxpayer funded job) are destroying the lives of the people in the Third World and making health care so expensive. How do I know this is what Big Bird thinks? Because Ron Shiller told us so when he thought he was having a private conversation with a group supported by the Muslim Brotherhood. Well, thanks for telling us all how you really feel, Big Bird. Now that we know, we'll take our tax money back now. Without that, I think your ship will sink and you and your Jew-hating elitist snob crew can tread water until Hell freezes over.
Here's a link for the sting video. You should watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd9OYJMX9t4