Religion of Peace Rejoyces Over Bombings

You know, it's funny...I keep hearing people say that Islam is a religion of peace, but every time Muslims are offended by something, they react by advocating murder. Here's an example: a guy by the name of Abu Osama al-Hazeen posted in a chat forum, "Today I say: Rejoice ... By Allah London shall be bombed." Why would any peace-loving person say something like this? Because Salman Rushdie was Knighted by the queen of England, that's why. You remember him, don't you, the guy who wrote a work of fiction called The Satanic Verses which angered a bunch of Muslims who called for his assassination? Yup, this book offended the peace-loving Muslims, and when Muslims are offended, they kill people. This al-Hazeen guy says the English were asking for it, saying, "Is Britain longing for Al Qaeda's bombings? We, and the whole world has seen what Britain has done ... their intention to honour Salman Rushdie who insulted and slandered Islam. " Somebody wrote a book Muslims don't like, therefore a whole nation should be bombed, is that what I should infer from this? According to Rosie O'Donnell, radical Christians are just as dangerous as radical Muslims, but I don't remember any car bombings happening when The DaVinci Code was published, do you? Sure, some people picketed outside theaters when The Last Temptation of Christ came out, but nobody died and nothing blew up. Sorry, Rosie, I have got to disagree with you. Muslims, on the other hand, threatened violence on the Pope for quoting a guy who has been dead for centuries, but we keep being reminded that they are a religion of peace. It's like pointing at a duck and saying, "hey, that's a duck," and the duck angrily says, "no, I'm not (quack)!" So why is everyone so quick to defend these guys? Because we don't want to offend the Muslims. We all know what happens when you offend the religion of peace.

Crazy Venezuelan Bastard Prepares For War With Uninterested Super Power

Get This.

Hugo Chavez, the Mussolini of South America, is preparing for a war with the U.S., according to a story from worldnetdaily.com. He got all dressed up like G.I. Joe and told his soldiers, "We must continue developing the resistance war, that's the anti- imperialist weapon. We must think and prepare for the resistance war everyday." The funny thing to me is, this guy thinks we care. Look at this guy. I'd be more threatened if I saw Mr. Potatohead wearing a red Beret. Come on, Hugo, this really is a bit like an ant gearing up for war against an Elephant. Until he called our president the devil, I never gave him a second thought, did you? If I did, it was something like, "Venezuela? Who the hell cares about Venezuela?" Anyway, this twerp apparently thinks we care enough about them to attack them, because Venezuela just bought up a whole mess of junky old Russian weapons for $3 billion dollars ("is bargain, comrade, Buy 100,000 Kalashnikov rifles, get 1 SU-30 Sukhoi fighter jet free!") . Chavez was quoted as saying, "The American empire is doing all it can to consolidate its system of domination. And we cannot allow them to do that. We cannot allow world dictatorship to be consolidated." This coming from a guy who tells his citizens what T.V. channels they can watch. Pot, meet kettle. Listen, Venezuela, America is NOT coming to kill you, trust me. In fact, we're going to start burning our food in our gas tanks so that we don't even need your oil, okay? That Castro-loving crazy needs a good kick in the pants, but not from America, from his own people. Unless he was harboring Osama ben Laden. Then it would be his ass.

Refusing to Assimilate

Surprise, surprise. Someone suggests a way to make it easier for Spanish speaking immigrants to assimilate, and the "Latin Community" gets angry. According to foxnews.com, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was quoted Wednesday night at the annual convention of the National Association of Hispanic Journalists as saying, "You've got to turn off the Spanish television set...You're just forced to speak English, and that just makes you learn the language faster." He was attacked, of course, by California Democrats and special interest groups, being called "ignorant" and "naive," because, as a spokesperson for Univision, a U.S.-based Spanish-language television network put it, "Spanish-language media helps Hispanics stay connected to their cultural heritage and important public information." Yeah, and puts money in the pockets of...Univision. All of this talk about staying connected to heritage is crap, folks. Look, the Italian and Jewish immigrants of days gone by had no problem staying connected to their heritage despite the lack of Italian or Yiddish programming on the air. In fact, because they didn't have a crutch like a TV station broadcasting in their native tongue, they and their children learned the English language and flourished within a generation. That's part of the reason we don't have street signs and billboards in German, or Polish, or Gaelic. I don't know about you, but if i were to move to Russia, I would not get upset because I couldn't get the local weather broadcast in English. Here's another response reported by Fox: "Francisco Hernandez, an immigration attorney, said there’s nothing wrong with encouraging immigrants to learn English but there’s no need for 'immigrant bashing... We have to remember that Spanish is part of this country’s heritage. There’s nothing wrong with it.'" What a load of crap. Sure, maybe if you go all the way back to 1492, but this isn't about Columbus or the Alamo, this is about being a strong nation united by it's borders, language, and national identity. I have no patience for anyone who tells me that people marching in the streets with Mexican flags and shouting protests in Spanish are just trying to "connect with their heritage." Schwarzenegger critics say that enough isn't done by the government to help immigrants learn English, but I say it's not the government's job to help you learn English, it's the immigrants' responsibility. People from all over the globe come to this country, learn to speak English without the aid of government, and prosper by assimilating into the dominant culture without losing their sense of pride in their own distinct heritage, but by embracing American heritage. Everyone else gets it. Why do Spanish-speaking immigrants feel they should get special treatment? Because they choose not to assimilate. I say leave Arnold alone. After all, he's an immigrant, too, remember?

Google Search George Carlin Immigration Gas Iraq Chain Letter Hoax

Here, once again, Googlers, is your answer, as quoted from George Carlin's site.

"Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me. " Read it at http://georgecarlin.com/home/home.html You know, about 75% of the traffic I receive is about this chain letter hoax. Some people come here to read my thoughts on Pelosi and the Logan Act, one or two have been here to read about the Wallonia BBQ Tax hoax, and every now and then, someone pops by to read about the Anbar Awakening. All worthy topics, mind you, but the amount of energy people put into the George Carlin chain letter hoax on saving gas by drafting all illegals into the army is astounding. Who actually wrote it? No one knows. If this is such a great idea, though, why didn't the author of this rant take credit for it? Easy. If Joe Blow says something as heated as, "The best way to stop Using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants," who's going to listen? It would probably end in a bar fight, and that would be the end of it. However, if you credit it to a famous comedian, suddenly your message has weight! Send it around as an e-mail chain letter, and your idea has become a phenomenon. And if people challenge the idea as being racist or offensive, well, you can always blame Carlin and say, "Hey, it was only a joke!" Whatever the intent of the author, he or she succeeded in getting a lot of attention, especially George Carlin's. By remaining anonymous, the hoaxer has created an explosion of searches on Google, which means the message is getting around. Personally, while I think the chain letter is extreme in tone and principle, I do believe offering military service as a path to citizenship is a good idea. Obviously, a lot of people agree with that. I say what you should be doing, instead of Googling the chain letter, is e-mailing your congressman. But if you want to read the letter, it can be found in my post for Wednesday, March 21, 2007 in my archives. There. Now your Google search is over. You're welcome.

The Battle For Jericho Is Over!

The theme for what was to be Jericho's last episode on CBS was, "if you value it, fight for it, and never give up." In a one word answer to a threat, Jake Green quotes a WWII general by telling the enemy, "NUTS!" In keeping with the spirit of this bold answer, when CBS announced Jericho would be cancelled, fans sent not just letters and e-mails, but...nuts. Thousands of them. We fans fought hard to get Jericho back, and finally won, but, CBS warns, it's our job as loyal fans to recruit more viewers. The quote from the official statement reads, "We will count on you to rally around the show, to recruit new viewers with the same grass-roots energy, intensity and volume you have displayed in recent weeks." Ok, fine, I'll tell my friends, but I thought it was networks that are responsible for advertising and promoting. CBS seemed truly awed and humbled by their collective dismissal of the loyalty and passion of the Jericho fan base in the opening to the statement, which starts, "Wow! Over the past few weeks you have put forth an impressive and probably unprecedented display of passion in support of a prime time television series. You got our attention; your emails and collective voice have been heard. As a result, CBS has ordered seven episodes of “Jericho” for mid-season next year. In success, there is the potential for more. But, for there to be more “Jericho,” we will need more viewers." Ok, thanks for listening to your viewers, for bringing back our favorite show. Here's how you get some buzz. Get Katie Couric to report on the "Save Jericho" campaign and show those who aren't watching just how loyal the fan base is, what we did, the response, and show them all of those nuts! People watching the news will say to themselves, "Huh. I can't believe the fans did all of that. That show must be pretty good, I'll have to check out the re-runs this summer. Of course, I'm no Madison Avenue Ad Man, but I think it could work. In the meantime, my thanks to CBS and my fellow fans who brought Jericho back to life. If you're not watching, you should. If you believe in America, in self-reliance, in fighting for what you believe in, and good television, you will love Jericho. If you believe in none of those things, tune in, and maybe you will begin to believe.

CBS Execs Loose Their Damn Minds, Cancel Only Great Show

Yeah, it's true. Sad to say, but Jericho will not have a season two. I don't think there has ever been a show on television that captured my attention so immediately and held it for so long, and if you were a kid like me, it's not hard to see why. I grew up during the Cold War, when the threat of global nuclear war was always hovering over our heads, during the Iran hostage crisis, when, on the CBS evening news, I watched as young Arab radicals burned our flag and proclaimed America the Great Satan. The nation was still licking the wounds of Viet Nam, scared by an energy crisis, tired of losing economic ground to foreign countries, and angry at Jimmy Carter for telling us it was all our fault. If you grew up in these times, too, you probably know, as I know, that Jericho maybe fiction, but it's pretty close to being a prediction. Add to that a superior cast of actors and actresses, exceptional dialogue, realistic outcomes, and enough mystery to keep a person in suspense to the very point of screaming at the T.V., "Oh! I've got it! Hawkins is in league with the Chinese," and you have got a show that beats the tar out of 24 any day of the week. So why would CBS cancel such a show? Well...one angry viewer believes CBS is run by liberals who don't want to seem sympathetic to the president and the war on terror. Another suggests that it's part of a conspiracy. Some people blame CBS for pitting such a show against American Idol. I'm not in the mind of CBS execs, so I can't say why they cancelled it, but I can tell you this: NBC tried to cancel Quantum Leap and were met with scores of angry viewers holding signs that read, "Keep The Leap!" Not only did the show survive, it now lives on and does well on the SCI-Fi Network. Folks, let me tell you something. I've often said that we don't live in a democracy, we live in a republic, but this time the people really have a say. Here's what I want you to do. Don't just go to CBS and bitch, go to Proctor & Gamble, or Chase Manhattan, and tell them you want Jericho back. If they don't put the money back into Jericho, assure them they will loose money. Then make it happen. Normally, I'm against boycotts, but just this once, I'm willing to compromise to support good television. Jericho is the one show on Television that spoke to Americans without speaking down to them, and it had a huge future, not to mention a huge following and incredible social relevance. Save This show, people. It's more important than American Idol, and more important than you know.

Tell Your Congressman

Well. I knew that people had strong feelings about illegal immigration, but I had no idea that a stupid chain letter would get everyone so worked up. Lots of you have been coming here looking for George Carlin's opinion on illegal immigration, saving gas, and the war on Iraq, and I tried to clear things up, but you still keep coming. Let me try again. GEORGE CARLIN DID NOT WRITE THAT CHAIN LETTER ABOUT SAVING GAS BY DRAFTING MEXICANS INTO OUR ARMY! Loud enough for you? Here, once again, in case you missed it, is George Carlin's address. You can go to his site and ask him yourself. http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html I hope that settles it. All I was saying was the author of the hoax had a point about a clear path toward citizenship. I do not advocate shipping Mexicans over to Iraq for the purpose of getting them killed to save us a buck on fuel. Jeez! Didn't any of you read past the text of the chain letter? This is not a new problem, folks, it's been going on for generations in this country. Did you know there was a time in American history when it was worse to be an Irish immigrant in New Orleans than a black man? True story. The shopkeepers would have signs in the windows that read, "Help Wanted: No Irish Need Apply." They had to form their own city, which is now the Irish Channel near the Garden District. The same thing happened with the Italians when they came here. We almost went to war with Italy because Italian immigrants were tried for murdering New Orleans police chief Hennessey. No racial or ethnic group has the patent on persecution, folks, heck, even the pilgrims were running from something. My point is this: If you want to come to America to find a better life for yourself, I applaud you, but you have to do it legally. One way we could make it easier is by offering service in our military as one path towards citizenship. If you are willing to die for this country, that shows a dedication some natural born citizens just don't have. Once again, I do not suggest that we round up all illegal immigrants and draft them, not even if gas prices go to $5 a gallon. I was just suggesting an alternative the the present situation, which is clearly not working. As to the author of the George Carlin chain letter hoax, I can't speak for that person, but if you agree with them, don't come to me. Tell your congressman.