Monday, May 2, 2011

Disgusting Bug Squashed By Team of Seals

I read this weekend that Superman renounced his U.S. citizenship, and I was going to write about that, but who needs him when we've got the U.S. Navy SEALS?  Let the Man of Steel stand in silent protest in Tehran.  Today, I'm celebrating real men of action.  And yes, Lefty, I'm celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden.  I know what you're going to say.  "That's not a very christian attitude, Mr. Johnson!  You shouldn't be celebrating the death of another person, you filth-mongering jackhole!"  Well, that's just it, Lefty, I'm celebrating the death of a cockroach, a disgusting waste of oxygen that spread garbage and hate and death.  Yeah.  I'm not sad he's dead.  And this is really going to knock your socks off, Lefty, I'm going to congratulate the president, Barack Obama, for a job well done...this time.  Now, I know that this is not going to stop al qaeda.  I know they are still plotting to murder as many of us as they can, and I promise you, every time I see a plane in the air, I'm going to wonder.   As mad as they probably are right now that we cratered his face with bullets, then dumped his sad corpse off an aircraft carrier into the ocean, I hope they get the message.  You can run.  You can even hide.  But we will find you, and you will die.  Thanks to the interrogators at Guantanemo Bay, thanks to SEAL Team 6, thanks to some great intelligence gathering, and, yes, thanks to the president, the world is rid of an evil man who revelled in mass-death in the guise of religious devotion.  Now...I have some questions.  First, I've heard it said before that the intelligence community knew he wasn't hiding in a cave in Afghanistan, but in a comfortable compound in Pakistan.  That was two years ago.  What took so long?  Why didn't we act on this intelligence sooner?  Second, Why did we go out of our way to let everyone know we handled his body so carefully and followed the Muslim burial traditions, cleansing his corpse and giving him a service, then dump his body in the ocean?  Some have said we don't want to antagonize moderate Muslims by desecrating his corpse, but since he wasn't killed at sea, his being buried at sea is seen as an insult anyway.  I get that we don't want a martyr's grave for terrorists to visit.  I get that we are not at war with the entire religion of Islam.  I'm just wondering, because I'm betting every sailor on that carrier at least had the urge to pee on the white sheet they wrapped him in and shove some bacon in his boxer shorts before the commander said, "heave-ho."  Anyway, I hope this gives the victim of September 11th, 2001 and their families some feeling that justice has been done.  I, for one, am glad he's dead.  I know we're supposed to live up to our higher ideals, but hey...don't we have Superman for that?
UPDATE!  5.MAY.2011
If the information in the link below is accurate, then my congratulations and thanks to the president are officially rescinded.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Whenever we think about the term the saying adore, not just in comparison to its a loving romantic relationship having a different, nevertheless to be a feeling that's engendered when you've got miltchmonkey an improved romantic relationship with ourselves very - or even just for a experience of increased unity with your loved ones or simply human race * it results in being a lot more really clear that every one anybody needs to have is actually really like.

Anonymous said...

You're right about one thing---you definitely AREN'T exhibiting real "Christian" values here--but then again, it's pretty much a given that the most vocal Christians are the least Christian in action. Mark Twain was right---if Jesus was alive today, the last thing he'd be is a Christian. Amen to that.

A. Christensen Johnson said...

As the president would say, "Let me be clear;" I absolutely do not give a fuck what you think of me personally. Thanks for reading, but try staying on topic, please.