Save The Planet By Using Toxic Materials

Algore, the High Priest of the Church of Global Warming, wants you to save energy by using Compact Fluorescent Light bulbs. They last longer, use less energy than the old-fashioned Edison light bulbs, which is good for the planet and your wallet, and they contain a toxic chemical. Wait-you didn't know? That's right, those cute little pigtail CFLs contain Mercury, which is known to adversely affect the brain, the spinal cord, the liver, and the kidneys. "Well, big deal," you might say, "the amount in those bulbs is probably safe, and besides, it's inside the bulb!" Right! Until one breaks. When a bulb breaks, the EPA warns people to leave the room right away and stay out for at least fifteen minutes, and when you do go in to clean up the mess, you practically need a HazMat suit. After you use your rubber gloved hands and duct tape to clean up, or if it just burns out and needs to be replaced, you should take it to a recycling center, which may be fifty miles away, depending on where you live. Are you going to do all of that? No, of course not. You're going to pick up the broken bulb with your bare hands, sweep up the rest with a broom, and put it in the trash which will be taken to a landfill, Mercury and all, to pollute the environment! "Well, come on," you may be thinking, "how likely is it that one of these things is just going to break?" Right again. It probably won't "just break." However, when my dog was chasing my cat, it tripped on the cord to the lamp on the table next to my sofa, causing the lamp to fall and the CFL bulb to break very near my youngest daughter. What are you going to do? Dogs chase cats. Accidents happen. Toxic, environmentally conscious accidents. I don't buy those pigtail bulbs anymore. I like my old-fashioned, incandescent, Edison bulbs. They may use more energy, but my house is lit at night, and if they break, my kids' mental development wont be affected. "But I want to do my part for the environment," you say. Fine. Take your chances with Mercury components. Maybe you're the kind of person who will actually drive the fifty miles to recycle one lousy light bulb. How many of those CFLs do you need to use in order to offset the carbon you just spewed into the air by driving that far? I'm just asking, don't get upset. Frankly, I think Algore has got you all bamboozled. The Earth doesn't need our protection, it's we, the consumers, that could use it. One last thing....I went to the store and looked, and I can't find one CFL that's made in America. They're pretty much manufactured in China, the country that gave us poisoned dog food, lead-filled toys, and virus-infected hard drives. Just thought I'd mention it.

Peruvian Children Die As Global Warming Causes Deadly Cold Snap

I wonder if Algore has heard about this one. According to the BBC, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6916717.stm, "At least 70 children have died during a spell of freezing weather in the Andean regions of Peru." That's right, folks, freezing temperatures in South America are killing people. According to this article, this is taking place up in the Andes, so some of you might be thinking, "hey, it's the mountains, it gets pretty cold there." Not so fast. The article goes on to say that, "Even low-lying jungle regions are facing unusually cold weather, with temperatures dropping to 10C (50F). " Yep, 50 degrees in the jungle! Okay, you global warming kooks out there, show me how a deadly cold snap in South America that is supposed to last through September is caused by man-made global warming. Explain to me how my car and my wife's minivan and our carbon footprint is giving small children in Peru pneumonia. I can already hear you, "Well, Mr. Johnson, you arrogant, bombastic, capitalist pig, it has to do with extreme 'climate change.' All of the carbon dioxide humans like yourself spew into the atmosphere is shaking things up so badly that poor old Mother Nature doesn't know what to do! There's a balance, Mr. Johnson, and you aren't doing your part. That's why those poor third world kids are dying." Does that about sum it up? You people are so quick to believe in global warming because of the guilt that Algore and the doom-and-gloom media tell you that you should be feeling thanks to human progress! You expect me to feel guilt for my carbon footprint? Let me tell you a little secret. Shhhhh.... let me whisper it in your ear. HUMAN BEINGS BREATH OXYGEN AND EXHALE CARBON DIOXIDE! THAT"S HOW RESPIRATION WORKS! AND THE TREES ACTUALLY NEED IT TO LIVE! MY EXHALING IS NOT KILLING THE PLANET, YOU STUPID MOOKS! So go to Hell. When you get there, you may experience a little warming, but don't blame it on the rest of us.

Don't You Believe It!

I know most of you who find this site are not what you'd call "regular readers," so I'll just go ahead and make it known right now. I think global warming is a load of crap. There. Now that we have that out of the way, you can either go back to google and find people you already agree with, or you can stick around and learn. In all of my posts, I have tried to educate you lemmings about the global hoax known as "climate change," and I always think I've presented the most insane scare tactics conceivable, but this one takes the cake. According to metro.co.uk, we only have FIVE YEARS to save the Earth. That's right, if we don't get Johnny Appleseed out globetrotting with his seeds by noon tomorrow, we're all going to fry. A source in this article, James Leape, WWF Internationals' Director General, was quoted as saying, "We have a small window of time in which we can plant the seeds of change, and that is the next five years. We cannot afford to waste them. " Okay. Go back to my post from Sunday, March 11, 2007. I told you about an article in the Toronto Sun by Lorrie Goldstein which explains that even if we planted a grove of trees the size of Alaska, they wouldn't absorb the carbon output of the passengers on one coast to coast flight for 50 years! Well, folks, if we only have five years left, we're already screwed! Look, this is just another scare tactic designed to get every one to accept the carbon taxes government wants to levy. They do this all the time. Think of all of the sci-fi movies that have come out predicting that the world would be a wasteland by 1995. Remember the Mad Max movies? Remember Waterworld? Science fiction is fun, folks, but that's all the theory of global warming is, it's science fiction. Go to realclimate.com, and you'll read the threads of these scientists who, for the most part, earnestly believe that global warming is happening, but keep arguing over what the data actually means. They think they have the answer, they just don't know why, and they can't prove anything. I've done my own modest research, and from what I gather, sometimes the earth is cold, and sometimes the earth is warm, and there's an apparent cycle to it. Maybe you've heard of Orbital forcing, maybe you haven't...but I'll bet you've heard of Summer and Winter. But listen, even if I'm wrong, it doesn't matter. We didn't create the earth, and we certainly can't destroy it. Only God can do that. If and when he decides to, well...you think planting trees and using ethanol is gonna stop him? Don't you believe it.

Armageddon Pays!

Remember that loon you used to see in movies and cartoons with the sandwich board that read, "The End Is Near?" Well, he's still out there, only now he's making money with his message. In case you don't know what a carbon credit is, it is a way for big business and Hollywood celebrities to buy their way out of the guilt they feel for supposedly destroying the planet with their carbon emissions, or as I like to call it, a "scam." Consider, if you will, Blue Source, an American offset company that takes money to shoot a bunch of carbon dioxide into the ground to "bury" it. Where they do this, of course, is in depleted oil wells, because it pushes up the remaining oil for them to collect and sell, which in turn causes more fossil fuels to be burned. Burn the oil, collect the CO2, collect the oil, burn the oil, you get the point. Then, of course, there are the companies that are getting paid by their customers for doing things that either don't work or are already mandated to do, like Dupont. In an article by Fiona Harvey and Stephen Fidler for Financial Times (www.ft.com), it's reported that a Financial Times investigation uncovered "Widespread instances of people and organisations buying worthless credits that do not yield any reductions in carbon emissions" and "Industrial companies profiting from doing very little – or from gaining carbon credits on the basis of efficiency gains from which they have already benefited substantially." Well, I already knew that! What I didn't know is, "the burgeoning regulated market for carbon credits is expected to more than double in size to about $68.2bn by 2010, with the unregulated voluntary sector rising to $4bn in the same period." What does that really mean? There's a lot of money in it. People who feel scared, or guilty, or both about global warming are more than willing to fork over their hard-earned dollars and Euros to companies that promise to end the planets' suffering, and, somewhere up in Heaven, P.T. Barnum is turning to Boss Tweed and saying, "I told you so." Get enough suckers to buy into this "end of the world" garbage about global warming, and you can make a tidy profit. Get a has-been politician to make a movie about it, a rock star to issue limits on toilet paper usage, and a Democrat in the White House, and you can pave the way for a tax on carbon usage. Armageddon turns out to be a very lucrative industry for everyone but you and me, the people who have to pay for the lies.

photo from fujirockers.org

The Lemmings of Global Warming

The temperature in Grand Rapids, MI maybe 10 degrees below the norm for this time of year, but the global warming kooks are still going to protest in the cold to support more government control of your life, according to Ben Kolker of the Associated press. Those of us who remember this past winter, those of us who are geared up for a huge and unseasonal storm this weekend, and those of us who still have the power for individual thought would say that this is, as the French say, "stupid." It's actually getting colder, so why not rethink this whole global warming bunk? In their defense, one of these kooks, Lisa Locke, associate director of the West Michigan Environmental Action Council, said, "I think that's an easy excuse, but if we're really reasonable about it, we're not talking about individual weather on individual days," Locke said. "We're talking about something much larger, on a global scale, which science has been tracking for decades." Really, Lisa? Decades? Then why couldn't my local weather forecaster, a meteorologist, give me an accurate prediction for the last seven days? Even with his Super Doppler 7000 radar, he's still really only guessing. So, what's the rally for? Well, they want congress to know that they care. They care so much, in fact, that they want congress to cut emissions by 80 percent in less than 50 years. Do you know how government is supposed to do this? Let me share it with you, in case you missed the last few rants on this bunk called global warming. The global warming alarmists like Al Gore want us all to pay more taxes, carbon taxes, taxes on the kind of car you drive, whether or not you barbecue with charcoal, they want to take your money to plant trees, billions of trees that won't absorb all of this carbon until the fifty years are up, providing they survive. Well, let these kooks go to their rally, let them shake hands with the mayor and share their kids' pictures of the poor, doomed polar bears, another media hoax. My family and I will be inside, warmed by a fire that will be emitting plenty of carbon into the air to keep the kooks warm.

Wrong Again, Chicken Little

The Global Warming kooks are at it again, folks, and now they say it's even worse than the last time they predicted Armageddon. I discovered in the online edition of The Scotsman today that we have 50 years tops, and then we're all toast. "Ooooohhh, wow," some of you might be thinking, "it's 2000 scientists that all agree with each other! That's a really big number, maybe there's something to this..." There is. It's called a tax on carbon output on each and every person in the "whirled" community. It's a government slush fund. It's a scary bedtime story by a bunch of guys in lab coats nodding at eachother as to what might be happening based on 100 years of data. So, why isn't it working? The Independent also ran a story today that says while 80% of Britons feel global warming is a threat, half of them are not planning on changing their lifestyles. I can here them now; "So what? The sun is hotter. What do you want me to do, shoot a water pistol at it?"

Good point, Tommy, but there are other sides to the story. Perhaps you've never heard of the Croll-Milankovitch Hypothesis. You see, the Earth's orbit around the sun (GASP!) may not be static. Here's an excerpt from "The Orbital Forcing Model," which I discovered at http://astro.temple.edu/~andy/Contents/Research/orbitalforcing.htm

"Beginning with the orbital forcing variables as summarized by Berger (1988); Fischer & Bottjer (1991); De Boer & Smith (1994) and House (1995), herein it is assumed that the fundamental orbital forcing signal is the precessional signal (Anderson & Goodwin, 1990; 1992). The strength of this signal is directly related to the degree of eccentricity of the Earth’s orbit. As eccentricity increases and summers occur near perihelion (in the precessional cycle) insolation at high latitudes reaches a maximum (Fig. 1 Precessional hot summers.jpg). If those summers occur in a hemisphere with large areas of continent at high latitude then high insolation values may trigger the melting of accumulated continental glacial ice. When summers occur near aphelion with high eccentricity (Fig. 2 Precessional cold summers.jpg), the resulting long series of cool summers may trigger renewed build up of high-latitude, continental glacial ice. Principles relating orbital forcing to glacial ice volume were first articulated in 1864 by James Croll (1821-1890) and reinforced by Milutin Milankovitch in 1941. "

That's a lot of mumbo-jumbo, I know. What it means is....(drum roll, please) Sometimes the Earth is closer to the sun during its' orbit, which makes it seem a little hotter. Sometimes the Earth is farther away from the sun at certain points in its' orbit, so it seems a little colder. But what, folks, that's not the best part! The best part is, there were probably about 2000 scientists who agreed with this hypothesis back in 1941! Yeah, and I'll bet you could find a hundred more theories supported by 2000 more scientists, talk about a consensus! Just one thing, though, folks...science isn't consensus. Science is fact. If you and I agree that the world is flat, that doesn't make it so. You need proof, which no one has, just evidence, and I think we can all remember what Mr. Barnum said about that.

There must be something in human nature that makes us all wish we were living in a real-life, doomsday, end-of-times movie, because we keep doing this to ourselves. Remember Haley's Comet? Remember global cooling? Remember the o-zone? Remember Y2K? It must be that innate part of ourselves that needs to think we're heroes, that we're saving someone or something. I don't know. I've discovered, as Billy Joel once sang in The Angry Young Man, "that surviving is a noble fight. I once believed in causes, too, had my pointless point of view, and life went on no matter who was wrong or right." Sage words, Bill.

So look, here's my plan. Let's pay a bunch of scientists to aver that leprechauns are responsible for depleting the wetlands around Louisiana. Get enough of them to say it, and maybe Katie Couric will pick up on it. Then we'll have people all over the world begging congress to do something about the leprechauns. If enough people believe it, it'll be true, right? Just one question...after we solve that question, what should we do with the other two wishes?

Polar Bears Versus Humans

The liberal mindset is astounding. In a conversation about global warming, a certain confused individual actually advocates murder as a solution to global warming. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: There's going to be plenty more for us to clean up after that ice storm we just had.

Lib: What can you say? Global warming is really taking its' toll.

Me: Say What? We just had the most ferocious winter weather I've ever seen....

Lib: Yeah, global warming. Extreme climate change.

Me: It doesn't exist, my friend.

Lib: What do you mean?

Me: Haven't you ever heard of orbital forcing? Milankovitch cycles? You see, the Earth's orbit around the sun isn't always a perfect circle. Sometimes...

Lib: Wait. Where are you getting your information from?

Me: The encyclopedia, um, Wikipedia on-line, Realclimate.com, Time-Life books on science...

Lib: Well, you can't trust stuff you get off of the Internet.

Me: Look, I know what you're saying. The Internet can be a bathroom wall, as far as information goes, but...

Lib: So you can't trust it.

Me: Who do you trust, journalists? Al Gore? These people just make stuff up! Dan Rather got fired for using bogus sources. But since you trust journalists, maybe you'll trust Newsweek. I read an article from the summer of 1975 that warned us all about global cooling. Scientists were sure that the glaciers were advancing, the growing seasons were getting shorter, that by 1985 there would be mass starvation. It never happened. So, what... you believe that scientists fixed the problem of global cooling, somehow found a way to warm the Earth, and now we're all worried about it being too hot? Hey, these guys are heroes! What are you complaining about?

Lib: Well....

Me: ...it's the polar bears, isn't it?

Lib: Well, yeah, I'm concerned about that.

Me: Psst! Polar bears can swim.

Lib: I know that.

Me: They can, it's true! In fact, they can swim up to 100 miles. They love to swim, they're designed that way.

Lib: Well, they can't swim forever, They're losing their homes...

Me: Look, I saw that photo, too, and I'm telling you, you don't have too worry. The polar bears are not going to be stranded. They're not losing their home. Listen, the same fools who are telling you that the north pole is melting are omitting the fact that the antarctic is actually cooling. I'm not really worried that a few scientists got together and discovered that the planet is supposedly warmer by one degree over the last 100 years or so. The Earth has been here for billions of years, the climate changes as God intends. There's proof that the Great Sahara Desert was once a fruited plain, did you know that?

Lib: We're destroying the planet with all of our oil, burning rubber tires, CF Cs...

Me: Look, we didn't invent oil. We didn't invent rubber. We didn't make the Earth and we couldn't destroy it, even with every nuclear weapon we've built. The planet was here long before us, and it will be here when we die and the cockroaches grow big brains and start running the show. You saying that we have to save the planet is total crap, the planet doesn't need our protection because we can't destroy it, only ourselves. You're talking about saving the humans, not the polar bears. You just want to talk about saving the planet to alieve the guilt you feel over being a human, because you think humans are destroying the poor cute little animals and their homes.

Lib: All I know is, we're ruining the environment, and a lot of people need to die.

Me: Okay, wait. You're concerned about the environment, about the polar bears, and your solution is...murder? People bad, animals good? Then what, you kill a bunch of people, and then I suppose you'll be expecting a Christmas card from the polar bears? Who needs to die, me, for driving my car? Your girlfriend, for using aerosol hairspray? Are you going to go north and sacrifice yourself to the polar bears?

Lib: Let's change the subject.

Do you see what I have to deal with? This guy has been bombarded with global warming hysteria to the extent that he's been brainwashed. His sense of self-loathing because he's a human and humans are supposedly destroying the world has led him to the belief that humans must die. Not him, of course. He's enlightened. Sure, he uses fossil fuels, but he feels really bad about it, so he can live. It's other car drivers and coal users. They need to die. It doesn't end there. You should have heard his comments on America! White guys are the most evil thing in the world, except for him, of course, because he feels really bad about how "we" conquered the Indians, how "we" owned slaves, how "we" treated the Chinese, America became great by stealing things from others, and on and on and on.
Look, you dolts, what do you want us to do, give it all back, and have everyone go home? What do you want, do you think I should apologize for things I never did had had no control over, then split myself into atoms and have each atom go to each country every ancestor I ever had came from? We're here, and yes, there have some problems, but America is great, humans are great! Look at all the good we do, not just the bad we once did or are supposedly doing now! STOP HATING YOURSELVES AND EVERYONE ELSE AND WE MIGHT JUST MAKE SOME PROGRESS!